I supposed this is how a generation goes.
We notice lots of friends getting into university around the same time.
We notice lots of friends getting married around the same time.
(we notice lots of friends getting divorced around the same time)
(we notice lots of friends getting married for the second time/moving in together around the same time)
We notice lots of friends getting pregnant around the same time.
And babies popping out around the same time :)
It all started last year with 3 friends announcing they were pregnant. My big sister gave the news at the beginning of this year.
After that is like there was something in the water and it is non-stop...
My Portuguese goddaughter was born last December and she is a stunning baby. She has those delicate features and big eyes which will charm anyone, I am sure. I mostly follow her development through pictures but I will see her again at the end of the year and can't wait for it!
Last Saturday we went to meet Mrs. A's baby, "Banoffee Pie". He is only teeny (8 weeks old) but he is gorgeous. He already smiles (not sure if it is reflex more than intentional), he has that baby smell, tiny hands and fingers, he was mostly quiet and cute apart from when he was hungry or annoyed.
It was great to see him after we followed the whole pregnancy.
I've also received the news one my dearest friends, Mrs. L had her baby-boy. I am soo happy for her and so happy everything went to plan. She is one of the nicest people I know and I wish them all the luck and health in the world.
More friends now have children (My brother gave us Gigi, my goddaughter, now 3, amazingly smart and cute and joyful), Nanda has another Giovana a cutsy too! Mrs G. is expecting a girl, Mrs. T wants a surprise. I've seen when Liesl got pregnant with "Peanut" and he is now a big strong boy. Another friend is preggie, but asked me to keep it quiet for now, but I am immensely happy for her too!
It makes me think if I will ever feel my clock ticking. I never did and still don't.
It reminds me of Mr. M who has made the conscious decision not to have children...
Don't get me wrong, I like children. I love taking care of them. I've always had since I was around 10 and helped my aunties with my cousins.
But I have to confess despite having a huge motherly protective feeling around everyone I know and love (Mum is my nickname after all - and I can be as annoying as one) I dread the idea of being a mother. The responsibility.
Be responsible for its well being. Kindness. Politeness. Happiness. Will it love life or hate life? The world is such a dangerous place. Life is such a hard trial. There is so much pain, so much frustration, so many people are only happy while complaining about something. The world is such a negative place I am not sure if it is fair to bring someone into it just to be another person unhappy about being alive.
The idea I will have a child, love it like I never loved anything before and than let it to go to the world scares me too.
With Mr. J, children are in the plans. Talking about them eases me more into it and warms me to the idea. And you know what? I love life. All the good and bad bits. I am glad my mom and dad decided to have me. To give me a beautiful unique name, to teach me life is good even if bad bits are in it. They taught me to be strong, to look on the bright side. To be friendly, and be friends.
They taught me life is worth it.
So I hope one day my clock will tick stronger. And I will feel more inclined in teaching what mom and dad taught me once. And maybe I can, along with my friends, raise better happier children and somehow the world will be a better place for them as well.
Tunbridge Wells, Kent
2 weeks ago
9 comments:
When time comes, you will know it. It may come as a surprise, though. Only He knows when.
BTW, a bunch of pregnant friends too... gotta take 2 pills a day :P
That means that you are not THAT Charlotte after all. :-) Talking about Charlotte, I always wanted to have kids since I was 12 (planned to have the first one at 18). Until not long ago, I thought that this was the only good reason for someone to want to be in this world.
My mum had the the-world-is-such-a-dangerous-and-hard-place-to-bring-up-children speech, but she managed to change her mind when I said that that's why we need to have children: to bring up nice decent human beings and help to make the world a better place. Very Michael Jackson, I know.
Liesl
Yeah, mum says the same thing, it is destined to come along it will come along ;) And there will be nothing you can do, the pill will be flour pill, the condom will split, lol...
Chris
I know Chris. And I am happy for not being too much of a Charlotte, she can get on my nerves sometimes, when she is spoiled for example. And is like I said, I think I am my friend's mum instead, lol.
And yes, I believe in that too, but once the child is here it will have its own life and I keep thinking how much we can do to put it on the right path ;) Just fear, really...
Linda, eu sempre pensei sobre isso bastantão. Desde que me casei o Má quer filhos. Eu não queria, não mesmo, então tomava as medidas necessárias, haha. Ele sabia, claro. E respeitou a decisão de eu informar quando estivesse pronta. Ainda não estou, quase cinco anos depois, mas hoje o medo é menor, se vier fico feliz, acho que estou entrando na fase do desejo, de começar a querer. E sabe... esperar nosso tempo faz parte também. Além de que ELE sabe direitinho a hora certa, fica fria, hahaha... Beijos, Fê. PS: Mais info podemos trocar por email. Aqui não rola ;-)
Não tem nada de errado em não querer ter filhos. Ninguém é obrigado a ter filhos só porque os outros tem, e isso não faz de você uma pessoa ruim ou faz você ser menos mulher, etc.
Nós decidimos não ter filhos por muitas das razões que você mencionou e somos completamente felizes com essa decisão.
Fê Você é mais ou menos que nem eu, acho que a diferença era que o Old King não queria filhos então juntou meio que eu já não tinha certeza se queria com o fato de ele não querer então não dispertou nada... Podemos conversar mais sim no MSN um dia desses que a gente tiver sonâmbula, hahahaha....
Mauro Concordo em número, gênero e grau contigo. Na verdade os motivos que eu vejo o povo tendo filho me faz pensar se quero mesmo ou é influência dos que estão em volta da gente. Mas ainda tenho tempo pela frente pra pensar, decidir, sentir... :)
Às vezes o momento nunca vem. Eu tenho plena certeza de que não quero ser mãe, e só teria por um motivo bem péssimo e egoísta (e me arrependeria depois, como tantas mães arrependidas que vejo por aí, que reclamam dos filhos o tempo inteiro - ou fazem coisa pior). Concordo com o Mauro, acho que não é anormal não querer nunca. Conheço pessoas idosas que nunca tiveram vontade e não se arrependem. É evidente que muitas pessoas talvez se arrependam de terem optado por não se reproduzir, mas também acho que, se desde o início havia uma resistência à idéia, então o melhor erro seria jogar o dado pro alto e "ver no que dá". Acho que crianças merecem mais do que ser uma tentativa "pra ver qual é".
Boa sorte em tudo o que você decidir, sweetie. :)
Lolla Pois é querida isso mesmo. Eu quero que a minha decisão quando (e se) vier seja fruto de muito amor e certeza de que é isso mesmo que eu quero. E tem outra, sempre quis adotar, e pra isso não tem dada de validade né não? Beijos!
MUITO BEM! Se você quer mesmo criar uma criança, eu particularmente acho a adoção muito mais louvável do que fazer uma nova. Se quer ter criança em casa, por que não dar uma casa para uma criança que não tem. :-)
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