Busy? Lazy?

Still here. Thinking as much as ever. If not more.
Work has been attrocious and I hate finding out I will have to work on weekends at last minute. And yes, 10 days notice is still last minute to me.
So work has been taking a LOT of my time this week.
Boiler failure meant stress to the power of nine.
Rest of the time spent trying to avoid thinking.
Getting my costume ready for my first Halloween Party ever :D
Playing facebook games. Twittering.
Watching TV.
Some exercizes (very little to keep my conscience clear anyway).
More TV. More work. More games.

Tired, tired, tired of thinking, of reading (had to read a document of 112 pages this week), of waiting.

But soon it will be all over and a new dawn, a new day, a new life will start for me.

Babies babies babies

I supposed this is how a generation goes.
We notice lots of friends getting into university around the same time.
We notice lots of friends getting married around the same time.
(we notice lots of friends getting divorced around the same time)
(we notice lots of friends getting married for the second time/moving in together around the same time)
We notice lots of friends getting pregnant around the same time.
And babies popping out around the same time :)

It all started last year with 3 friends announcing they were pregnant. My big sister gave the news at the beginning of this year.
After that is like there was something in the water and it is non-stop...

My Portuguese goddaughter was born last December and she is a stunning baby. She has those delicate features and big eyes which will charm anyone, I am sure. I mostly follow her development through pictures but I will see her again at the end of the year and can't wait for it!

Last Saturday we went to meet Mrs. A's baby, "Banoffee Pie". He is only teeny (8 weeks old) but he is gorgeous. He already smiles (not sure if it is reflex more than intentional), he has that baby smell, tiny hands and fingers, he was mostly quiet and cute apart from when he was hungry or annoyed.
It was great to see him after we followed the whole pregnancy.

I've also received the news one my dearest friends, Mrs. L had her baby-boy. I am soo happy for her and so happy everything went to plan. She is one of the nicest people I know and I wish them all the luck and health in the world.

More friends now have children (My brother gave us Gigi, my goddaughter, now 3, amazingly smart and cute and joyful), Nanda has another Giovana a cutsy too! Mrs G. is expecting a girl, Mrs. T wants a surprise. I've seen when Liesl got pregnant with "Peanut" and he is now a big strong boy. Another friend is preggie, but asked me to keep it quiet for now, but I am immensely happy for her too!

It makes me think if I will ever feel my clock ticking. I never did and still don't.
It reminds me of Mr. M who has made the conscious decision not to have children...

Don't get me wrong, I like children. I love taking care of them. I've always had since I was around 10 and helped my aunties with my cousins.

But I have to confess despite having a huge motherly protective feeling around everyone I know and love (Mum is my nickname after all - and I can be as annoying as one) I dread the idea of being a mother. The responsibility.

Be responsible for its well being. Kindness. Politeness. Happiness. Will it love life or hate life? The world is such a dangerous place. Life is such a hard trial. There is so much pain, so much frustration, so many people are only happy while complaining about something. The world is such a negative place I am not sure if it is fair to bring someone into it just to be another person unhappy about being alive.

The idea I will have a child, love it like I never loved anything before and than let it to go to the world scares me too.

With Mr. J, children are in the plans. Talking about them eases me more into it and warms me to the idea. And you know what? I love life. All the good and bad bits. I am glad my mom and dad decided to have me. To give me a beautiful unique name, to teach me life is good even if bad bits are in it. They taught me to be strong, to look on the bright side. To be friendly, and be friends.
They taught me life is worth it.

So I hope one day my clock will tick stronger. And I will feel more inclined in teaching what mom and dad taught me once. And maybe I can, along with my friends, raise better happier children and somehow the world will be a better place for them as well.

Reality escape

I do succumb to procrastination. Fact.
Is hard to get around things I have to do. Not because I am lazy or because I dislike doing them, sometimes I feel is because I know if I do them too quickly, they will be finished too fast, and then I will be left to think, and as you may have noticed it doesn't always means something good comes out of it.
When I get thinking I usually get paranoid a bit, I over think, over analyze, over rationalize my life (and sometime other peoples life too).
So lately I have caught myself completely addicted to facebook games.
I am @ Farmville, Country Story (another farm) and Café World.
Useless as they are - there is no prize, no reward, almost no competition either - it has almost the same effect as TV has on me.
It switches me off, it stops my head from going a hundred per hour. It gets me hypnotized, and it distracts me from the things I have to do, to think about...

By blogging, I get news about other peoples lives, I can comment, offer my opinion, without having to think about my own life. I stop whatever I am doing to post. But is weird, is like once I put them down on black and white they stop following me in my head, is like they come out to never bother me again ( I will write more about this on another post).

I wonder if people realize the same. We could all be addicted to these things just escaping from our reality :\ But could be again, I am over analysing it. It could be we are all just bored. Maybe is just me exaggerating it all, something I do too (see the drama? Over thinking and exaggerating? Not good!)

I do need to cut the time I spend on the whole online surfing (twitter, blogs, facebook, facebook games, etc) but I also think if that is a blessing in disguise. Knowing myself like I do, any opportunity for my mind to start brewing something where I will end up like the villain will be taken up and that will push me down.

So my online surfing habits could all also be the cheapest therapy in the world :)

“It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.” - William Shakespeare

October is here! Yeay!

Lots of people are complaining October has come too fast, but to be honest I am happy about it :)
Some reasons for it may be:
1. It's been 2 years I've been with my family and I am finally going back for a visit in December,hence I can't wait for December to arrive.
2. This year didn't go fast at all for me. because I didn't have plans or resolutions, there is nothing I would leave incomplete, or unacomplished. So no regrets, no hurry, no frustrations.
3. Next year looks so promising for me (and my friends!) with lots of things in the pipeline. Because I don't expect and don't plan anymore in my life - to avoid disappointments - I am happy there will be a brand new year around the corner, fresh to do what I like with it.
4. This is the month autumn arrives, ok is cold, but is beautiful here with its rosy sunsets, its golden crackly leaves (which I love to crunch with my feet), people being elegant in the streets again.
And this is the month which usually comes with good surprises for me.
Has always been my lucky month.
For example, last year, Mr J came along on October.
So really how can I, and why would I complain about such great month?
Let's just wait and see which surprise this October has in store for me! :)

And oh yeah, even one of my favorite songs is called October!



October - Evanescence

I can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

Constantly ignoring,
The pain consuming me,
But this time it's cut too deep,
I'll never stray again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love,
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

R$ vs £ - Greed or need?

Well, those who know me reasonable well knows I have quite the utopic view about capitalism. I truly believe capitalism the worse necessary evil we have to live with, for several reasons.
One of the things I don't really understand is how countries who are supposed to be poor (or "developing" - to use the politically correct term) can afford to sustain high enormous prices on products which can be found so much cheaper in other countries.
I do know about taxes, and everyone has to make a profit to survive (bing! There you go capitalism being evil!) but I do wonder if the HUGE difference in prices are mostly greed and the certainty people will pay whatever is asked for it, to either:
1. sustain a status of "look, I worked hard, I can spend sh1tloads of money buying this, you can't"
2. simply out of necessity
3. just liking the item and have no option but to buy it even at higher exorbitant value.

Now nothing wrong with the second reason, if you need something, and there is no way out of it than what can you do really? What annoys me with capitalism is the 1. and 2. points, where you could easily live with another cheaper option, simply not to buy whatever is being exploited from you, and force the prices down.
In my view, it is as easy as that. But maybe I am wrong?In here we have the example of Jaguar, which went bankrupt because people would not buy their cars anymore on the prices they were charging. It is sad to see a national industry go away, but have them lowered their prices I am sure they would have survived. See prices for houses, cars, mobile phones, anything here don't survive too long a surge on prices because people stop buying.Of course I am using Brazil as my criticism view, unfortunately a bad one this time.But coming from there and having this outlook on people

I was raised seeing people getting suffocated by debits. On credit card, on financing in 817373 instalments payments to have things they don't really need, they just want. To keep up with their friends, put up a front and try to live a life beyond their means, and it is a circle vice, and when you least expect everyone is caught on it. Sad affair.Thanks to mum and dad, I got the right hang of it. Bought my cars always with prompt payment. Never spend more than I make. First thing I do when I get my salary is to put a big chunk of it aside on my savings. Never buy more than I need. Maybe that's why I can't understand how this industry is still fed by people buying these things and throwing money at something so replaceable.


Fiat 500
Price in Brazil - from £21834.00 (R$ 61.900.00)
Price in U.K. from £9100.00 (R$ 25782.00)


Ac Dc gig
Price in Brazil - from £53.00-£106.00 (R$150.00-R$300.00)
Price in UK - from £45.00 (R$ 127.00)


IPhone
Price in Brazil - from £670.00 (R$1899.00)
Price in UK - from £342.00 (R$ 968.00)

**Currency converter

Now, I can't leave this post without saying how bad the Fruit/Veg prices are here compared to Brazil where they are sold at ridiculous low prices. I was going to include how cheaper the Avocato, Apple, Lettuce were in Brazil, but boy how wrong was I? They are cheaper here now! Ok, they don't taste the same (they are frozen to survive the trip and then thawed again for sale) but I was soo surprised to see the prices we are paying for food in Brazil now! Maybe it is a great sign people are earning more and affording to have more... Mmm, food for thought... - no punt intended ;)